The desire to have a child is a strong biological drive
that that is essential to our survival and a dream for many people.
Unfortunately more than five million people of childbearing age in
the United States experience infertility.
Most experts define infertility as not being able to get pregnant after at least
one year of trying. Women who are able to get pregnant but then have repeat miscarriages
are also said to be infertile. Infertility is a female problem in 35% of the
cases, a male problem in 35% of the cases, a combined problem of the couple in
20% of cases and 10% of the cases are unexplained.
infertility is a medical issue, it is also an emotional issue for
couples. Dealing with family and
friends can be an emotional
rollercoaster for couples dealing with infertility. They don't understand
the pain and loss and disappointment that happen every month. They
don't get the lack of sympathy from some of the medical professionals.
They don't get how hard it is to hear of others successes. They don't
get the feeling of desperation and powerless one feels towards their
body that has let them down. They simply cannot imagine the stress
on one's finances, and emotional health. Infertility can often put
a strain on the couple’s own relationship. Each person experiences
different feelings during the treatments and may become withdrawn
Another challenging aspect of the infertility experience is dealing
with the emotional ups and downs relating to medical treatment. The
endless doctor visits, medications that wreck havoc with your emotions,
tests and procedures that can be painful and knowing when enough
It may be difficult to know when emotional responses to the pain, frustration
and grief of infertility are within normal expected range or are excessive
and problematic. This is when contacting a therapist can be helpful to guide
you through the process and help you to cope with the feelings.
Adoption can be one of the most rewarding experiences of your life.
For many it is a happy resolution to infertility. At some point in
the infertility maze, some couples start thinking about when the
right time is to stop. They begin to realize that pregnancy is not
the only pathway to parenthood. At this point some may choose childfree
living while others will begin the journey into adoption.
Choosing to adopt a child means you are willing to make a lifelong
commitment to raising a child and creating a family for that child.
There are many options for couples, private agencies versus state,
domestic and international adoption. People making this decision
face a series of separate challenges: getting themselves out of treatment;
making some emotional peace with the loss of the dream of making
a much-desired baby; and facing assorted fears and concerns about
adoption and the adoption process. Therapy can help you sort out
your feelings of grief and loss and prepare you to move forward to
starting a family with through adoption.