The desire to have a child is a strong biological drive that that is essential to our survival and a dream for many people. Unfortunately more than five million people of childbearing age in the United States experience infertility.

 

Most experts define infertility as not being able to get pregnant after at least one year of trying. Women who are able to get pregnant but then have repeat miscarriages are also said to be infertile. Infertility is a female problem in 35% of the cases, a male problem in 35% of the cases, a combined problem of the couple in 20% of cases and 10% of the cases are unexplained.

 

While infertility is a medical issue, it is also an emotional issue for couples. Dealing with family and friends can be an emotional rollercoaster for couples dealing with infertility. They don't understand the pain and loss and disappointment that happen every month. They don't get the lack of sympathy from some of the medical professionals. They don't get how hard it is to hear of others successes. They don't get the feeling of desperation and powerless one feels towards their body that has let them down. They simply cannot imagine the stress on one's finances, and emotional health. Infertility can often put a strain on the couple’s own relationship. Each person experiences different feelings during the treatments and may become withdrawn and isolated.

 

Another challenging aspect of the infertility experience is dealing with the emotional ups and downs relating to medical treatment. The endless doctor visits, medications that wreck havoc with your emotions, tests and procedures that can be painful and knowing when enough is enough.

 

It may be difficult to know when emotional responses to the pain, frustration and grief of infertility are within normal expected range or are excessive and problematic. This is when contacting a therapist can be helpful to guide you through the process and help you to cope with the feelings.

 

Adoption can be one of the most rewarding experiences of your life. For many it is a happy resolution to infertility. At some point in the infertility maze, some couples start thinking about when the right time is to stop. They begin to realize that pregnancy is not the only pathway to parenthood. At this point some may choose childfree living while others will begin the journey into adoption.

 

Choosing to adopt a child means you are willing to make a lifelong commitment to raising a child and creating a family for that child. There are many options for couples, private agencies versus state, domestic and international adoption. People making this decision face a series of separate challenges: getting themselves out of treatment; making some emotional peace with the loss of the dream of making a much-desired baby; and facing assorted fears and concerns about adoption and the adoption process. Therapy can help you sort out your feelings of grief and loss and prepare you to move forward to starting a family with through adoption.

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